prayer station

hey guys.....just a quick update than off to bed. Today we did prayer station and i was so nervous, even though i have done it a few times now, enough to know what i'm doign anyways. So, we did it and it was good. We didn't have tons of people wanting prayer, as it was cold and rainy/snowy outside. But our team that went out today felt like we're just being consistent, we will go out no matter what.....and just be a presence in that neighborhood....and i just hope that one day that will be a place where people feel safe, not like they are going to be mugged by the drug dealers..:)
anyways, then we had staff meeting and that was good...it was good to hear stories of what God is doing and to see that we as a ywam base seem to be on the same page about alot of things....

then tonight, i had coffee with Rita and it was sooooo good. I just thank God for her, i feel like i can trust her and that talking comes so easy when I'm with her. So that was my day and my night......now off to bed.

i miss traveling.

just a few pictures from places i've been......i'm looking forward to traveling again.

tribute to Mike.

well, i just want to say a few things about mike. he is amazing me more and more. Lately there have been some great opportunities that him and craig have had to really talk with people about God. Or to learn more about other faiths, I respect them both so much for their faithfulness to go where God calls them, to be bold in their faith, to stand on the streets and pray for people, to meet people where they are at without compromising their faith at all. They are both bold men of God.

Mike is a great leader, He is asking God to make him whole, to help him to be a better man and a better leader. I have fun with him, he makes me laugh and he is definitely my best friend. And i just wanted this blog to be for him. For him to know and for others to know how much i love and respect him! He is being obedient to the things God has shown him to do and because of that I think God will trust him with more i love you!!!

over the rhine

well..i don't have much to say about today..i slept in...cleaned a bit, got read, had a meeting over coffee with jen and josh to talk about the coffee shop..so it's good, i'm making moves towards the coffee shop now..more than i have in awhile. I'm getting excited about it..then i came home and cleaned some more....made dinner....and then tonight Pam and Henri came for dinner and it was fun..we had indian food that i made and then sat around for awhile chatting......good stuff..and now i'm waiting for mike to come home from his night hoops thing again. So, i've got a movie on in the back ground while i'm on the computer. Tomorrow we are going to church and i'm looking forward to it, but i'm also looking forward to lazy sunday afternoon, i'm tired..i'm looking forward to going home for 'christmas' with my parents.....anyways, i have nothing deep and meaningful to share right now..but i was thinking about over the rhine.
they really are my favorite band. i think you should all go check out their website and listen to a song..
listen to...the first song and the last song.....ok?? go to the over the rhine link on my blog and click play or on the over the rhine radio..ok?? then you can share my love of over the rhine.
love you all.
goodnight.

me and life

it's almost 1am and i'm sitting here with my husband. He's playing guitar ( i hope the guy upstairs doesn't mind) i just spent the evening with jamie and we sat on the couch and talked for hours and didn't even realize it was soo late....and now i'm writing on my blog. It's been a good day. Lots of different things and lots of unrelated things. But all in all today was a whole was good. I feel encouraged too because mike just got home from this night basketball team he is helping a friend with and he was telling me what happened tonight and God is obviously at work. I feel as if God has opened up connections for mike to meet people in this city and that encourages me that God is at work in this city. And i feel as if God is making more and more clear to me the things He has called me too...I feel like I am realizing more and more that God actually longs for us to live our giftings...for us to live out of the personality He has given us, to live the dreams He has given us and to live operating in the gifts He has given us...So, like i said earlier this week, i really want to have a coffee shop that is like a 'home' because i love having people over, i love making meals and offering coffee and being a place where people can feel like they have a home.
And i also feel lately like what i long to do is help people to operate out of their true selves. to WAKE UP to Life and really live......whatever that means, to live and love God with their whole hearts, minds, spirits and bodies. Thank you all for the encouragement you gave me when i asked about my strengths I appreciate it very much, because I think i needed to hear from other people what they see in me because sometimes i'm afraid that i just think there are things God has put in me, and it's nice to hear from other people that they see some of them too.....so i wanted to Thank all of You. Because I feel God has been showing me through Himself, and through Others that I really do long to be a voice God can use to WAKE people up to REAL LIFE.

crazies and thanksgiving.

well today is thanksgiving, but in Canada it is not..so today we still met as an outreach team and today was quite the day. We knew we were going out today to meet people, give out free bread and offer free prayer to people. So we spent quite awhile praying for each other and praying for the day..and then we headed out onto the streets....and ...well, it's just so hard to explain in a blog. We were in pairs, me and jamie were going up and down Commercial Dr with the intention of giving away free bread and seeing if we could talk to anyone..and we ended up talking to this one guy for a long time..he told us he was 'the devil's son' ......we talked with him for a long time..and then we went back to the park for safety...and joined the other groups there and all of our groups had crazy stories, i can't even explain, but near the ened we knew we had to get off the streets, we had to go back and pray and 'debrief' the day. It was encouraging in a way because it seemed that someone did not want us out there and it was intense. So it was a pretty cool day. And then we came home, made our yummy foods and had thanksgiving dinner....i feel like even if you don't 'gorge' on thanksgiving you always end up feeling stuffed for hours, it must be all teh wrong foods to eat...you know..but they all taste so good and for dessert tonight me and Audrey brought a Maple Pumpkin Cheesecake..and it was sooooo good!!!! well, i'm thankful for my family, my dear friends...my husband, i grow to love him more and more. And for God who sustains me and gives me life.


p.s. that picture of me is in turkey but i thought it appropriate since i feel like i ate soo much today!

coffee coffee chai chai

that's what people chanted in India when you were on the trains, or watching the sunrise..or any crowded area...which is lots of places in India.
Anyways, today was all about the coffee shop......
we prayed, talked, asked God about the coffee shop, especially since it has been something i have wanted to do for so long..and really i need to just go for it. So today was so encouraging for me. I felt encouraged by my friends who were praying with me and excited for the vision as well. And i felt encouraged by God to keep going and there was a challenge as well to be faithful with the dreams He has given me. So all in all, good things are happening.
I feel like i want it to be like coming home for people, for them to walk in and know they are welcome, they will be known and they can get some really great coffee as well. Exciting stuff.....So here is what i made....it will be home. i want a fireplace, bookshelves, a long bar where people can sit and talk to me, of course yummy food, excellent coffee and me! what more could you want........

whispers

well i think it comes down to trust. Me and mike have been praying about our money situation for awhile, and we've been praying about getting a really nice camera so that we can pursue photography more and we've been asking God to meet our needs and He is. And yesterday was encouraging because we were given some money and told that more was on the way, so we still need alot more but God is being faithful. We still need God to meet our needs tomorrow and this week but He is faithful to provide for us. And in our hearts we're learning to trust God for the things that are important to us as well ( like a really nice camera) and other fun things and i feel like i'm learning about Grace again and i'm learning to trust again. And i feel like God never lets me down. I may not understand His timing and His way of doing things, but i'm beginning to trust on a deeper level that His heart is for my best. His heart is to love me. His heart is to be in relationship with me that goes beyond just meeting my 'physical' needs, but to really be filling the holes in my heart that need filling. And not just because He is what's left, but because His love is necessary for my heart to survive.

whispers speak so loudly
of the feelings our heart can't grasp
the secrets we long to be sharing
the truth that's in our hand

we keep searching for the answers
keep looking for the light of day
all we want is to be heard
to know we're inside someone's head

we are lulled into sleep
by the thought of tomorrow coming
there is no way to avoid it
no where to run and hide

all we want is freedom
all we want is to breathe fresh air
to be at peace with ourselves
to know that someone cares.

and it all comes down to trust
trust in someone greater than ourselves
who knows our deepest longings
who can see inside our heads

and so today i choose to trust
that this grace i can sense is real
that love is not an ideal
that truth is in my heart

outreach stuff.....and Christmas.

so, awhile ago a group of us decided we wanted to really do some outreach in the city and we wanted to see what God wanted to do through us in the city of Vancouver. So, we have put aside two weeks to do 'outreach' in the city and today was the first day. We did alot of planning, praying and discussing this morning. It was really good, thought provoking and i think we all left with the question what does it really look like to be a 'missionary' what do we really want our lives to look like? Lots of questions....so today was good. The rest of them had other outreaches they were part of as well today and i did the grocery shopping for our little team this week.

And on another note..i'm excited for christmas. We have just decided that our captivating group is going to have a christmas party and i'm so excited about it. For some reason i feel even more like i want to make the most of the moments and celebrate this season!

have a beautiful evening....enjoy the little things..appreciate each other...live life..and love with your whole heart.

blue skies

well i must admit that it's been sunny here for quite a few days and it really does make a difference. And actually i've had a good weekend. lots of relaxing and lots of enjoying things. i went downtown and i love being downtown when it's not raining. So now it's Sunday.......and me and mike are going to go to Bon's and enjoy our sunday as well. And we just got an email from my Father-in-law and he has booked our tickets for our holiday on the Caribbean. We are now going to the Turks and Caicos Island in the Caribbean. So that will be a lovely time for Christmas, my second non-white christmas. Mike will be spending his 25th Birthday there. This is a very non-deep blog..but i just wanted to share. I'm looking forward to the christmas season this year. I'm looking forward to being with my family in December i'm looking forward to our vacation in the caribbean with Mike's family. And i' m just looking forward to enjoying the little things. So that's all for today. The picture is now where we really are going for Christmas!

hope and disappointment

those two seem so closely linked lately. I feel as if i have a good moment, a good day, a time where i feel full of faith and life and than i feel it just so quickly stolen away, by my own self mostly...i long to run with faith, my head up, with confidence that God has placed me here, that He has desires for me. Just tonight we had captivating and it was good..it was hard, it was really hard cause especially tonight i felt like i was being finally honest with myself and with others, i feel like i'm asking for help but i don't see the answers. but than after tonight as well, mike and i were talking and it was so good, i was just asking him some of the same questions that have been on my mind lately and he was encouraging me and reminding me of some of my dreams before and asking me why i let go of them....like music, i once wanted to have a band that traveled, that sang songs that spoke straight to people's hearts and lately i have felt like being in a band wouldn't benefit anyone that it would be selfish...and mike reminded me of times when God used me, my voice , or the words to my songs, whichever He used and He spoke to people's hearts...why is it that sometimes i can see God leading me and sometimes i just let myself give up, or get distracted, even tonight i was hopeful again , i even wrote a song tonight and then so easily i get upset by something and almost feel hopeless again. I need stability and i guess i'm realizing this, there is a purpose for my life , and God has put passion in me for a reason and i have to fight! and i have no energy to fight as well...i need help. and so that's where i'm ending for tonight, i'm going to bed...i hope i can sleep ( i've been having lots of sleepless nights again)

my family

i like my mom. this week she told us she wanted to pay for me and mike to come home for a visit (because we aren't going to be able to go home for christmas this year) so we are going home for a week in December and my mom is paying for us.
I called her today and it was really cool because she's excited to see us and have us come home and i'm looking forward to being home as well...she's going to get a christmas tree, we're going to spend a day together and go shopping and have lunch..and we'll try and talk my brother into bringing his girlfriend home to hang out with us....so it'll be fun!! yeah....and i like spending time with my mom alot! (mike thinks she looks like a mannequin here)

and now here's my dad and my husband...and they're pretty cute as well.....ahh i love my family.

p.s. hey, i still need your help with my strengths..i'm basically fishing for compliments ( not fake ones though and not really just so i can feel good, but i need some help, please someone tell me one strength......please!!)

work on your strengths.

ok, so i've been pondering this question for days and i was wondering if you guys could help me out. work on your strengths.....BUT WHAT ARE MY STRENGTHS???? Even yesterday we had a meeting with the leaders for our outreach team ( me, mike, hannah , and stephen) and we were suppossed to say what strengths we were going to bring to the staff team , and i could only list one. i couldn't really think...i feel like i can't say specific things that are strengths, not that i don't think i'm good at anything, but actually naming what they are is difficult. So , do you think anyone could help me out???

make today a masterpiece.

well, let's see, last night as i was laying in bed, i was thinking about my blog..and what i would've said ... But now that i'm here i can't remember what i had wanted to say. last night i was so sick though, my whole body ached, as the night went on it got worse, i took a 20 minute hot shower and i was still chillled, so i climbed into bed and didn't want to move, all my muscles ached and i was just crying cause i was just hurting...but today i feel much better. so i hope that it was just a quick thing and that i'll feel completely better soon.
so i was listening to some guy speak today and he said something that made alot of sense and it spoke to me...i felt like it was similiar to what i talked about in my last blog but just a bit different angle..anyways, he said, give your best, give your all...but he went on to say that everyday if you give your best you can work towards making today a masterpiece. and that is kind of a revelation to me. that you don't have to let every day get swept up in the little details that don't matter, or in meaningless tasks, but everyday can mean something, ( who knows what that will be, and i think it can be as simple as appreciating what you have..) but if we give our best today our whole lives will become a beautiful mosaic, made up of the everyday things but will make our whole lives beautiful. so i just thought i'd share.
and just for a little update i will share the day to day things that have gone on in my life lately..
yesterday was a day off so me and my friends henri and joanna and sophia took a trip to ikea and God blessed me greatly!!! As well as that night me and mike rented braveheart to watch with our outreach team, we had a little team bonding ( then i came home and was really sick like i already said, ) today i've gone grocery shopping( and why is it that when i buy groceries i feel guilty for spending money?) and let's see.....i cleaned the bathroom today, thursday me and mike had a date night( where we just rented charlie and the chocolate factory and stayed in and had a great time together) and i took jamie to the doctor's on thursday..you can read her blog to see what happened and ....so even though that's a bit backwards that's what the day to day things have been lately.....
i hope you all have a beautiful day today where you feel not like time is wasted but that you are becoming the masterpiece God has designed you to be.


p.s. mike took the picture above...

sleeping beauty

living full lives...i was talking with my friend rachel tonight and she was sharing the words of a speaker yesterday who was saying if we live our lives to the fullest we will show God's glory..or something similar to that ( i can't remember exactly word for word) but i've been thinking about it all night. what would it look like if i lived my life to the fullest...what would it look like if i truly lived from my heart....what would be different about my life right now and what would be the same??? what inspires me? what brings me life? this week has been difficult for me, but i think God has been teaching me alot. one of the things i've been realizing is the need for connection with people other than my husband. i love mike and we are great friends as well as husband and wife, but i know that he does not fulfill all my relational needs. Firstly, i feel a desperation for God...i want to seek time with Him more...and as well as i need more connections with my girlfriends. There is something very different about sharing your feelings with your husband and sharing them with a girlfriend....and i think it's good to have both, but i've definitely been lacking in one of them lately. so that's something i'd like to change, as well as i need to just get off my butt and do more things that inspire me, for example beauty inspires me, beauty in nature, in people, in books, in life but lately i've been sick of the rain, don't want to walk in it (not even to my car) tired and just lazy at nights... i need to make more effort to 'do' things that bring me life....

and i need to figure out other things..like the bigger picture how can i 'be' alive. not just 'do' things or have friends, but how can i truly 'be' alive?? i'm kind of rambling i know, but my thoughts are making their way out of my head at the moment ....so basically i need to be filled with life by the creator, right?? HE is the most creative. He is Life. And so i long for Him to speak to me, to whisper to me His truth, for His words to call me to life again. A long time ago me and jamie wrote a song called 'wake up' and lately those words i feel are calling to me again...Wake up....wake up o sleeper..i feel like i've been sleeping for awhile and i want to wake up so badly....i want God to call me to LIFE. Real Life. A Full life. i want to be the sleeping beauty that is sought after and fought for and i want to wake up.

Leading a Team to North Africa and SCOTLAND!

Well, most of you know we ( me and mike) are leading a DTS outreach team to North Africa and we were meant to go to Amsterdam, but things fell through and since we are leading the team, we are going to Scotland!!! how great is that??? it's so exciting....it feels like i get to go home for my 'outreach' trip, i'm looking forward to so many great things. i'm looking forward to going for tea, to being able to cook there again, i'm looking forward to getting our stuff out of storage. there are just so many great things about this trip now! i really like scotland and the fact that we get to be there for one month is a big bonus!!! There are going to be 12 people on our team, and ( hey we need money for this so if you want to give, you can send us some of your money..:) but God is so cool and like i've already said many times i'm really looking forward to going 'home ' for this trip. It's really cool. that's all my news for today. here's a map of scotland.

prayer station, ebay and CSI

Well yesterday was great because i had lots to do...and did things i liked to do..and i even went out with mike, jamie, craig, henri and Rachel and we all did the prayer station...i was actually really nervous, but it was good. some people think we're crazy for standing out there offering prayer and others think we are brave and thank us. So that was good....and in the morning me and jamie and henri met about future possibilities and things we would like to see happen and we are moving towards things we feel God has spoken to all three of us......so i'm moving forward. Definitely...
and onto today. today is a day off and it really is that....i slept in, haven't done much at all..it's rainy and cold outside and so it's definitely a day for just staying inside..and i looked about on Ebay for awhile, i'm wanting new jewlery so i look at all the jewelry i could get for 99p from Dorothy Perkins.....and so i did that for awhile...and me and mike watched a CSI episode. i really like CSI, i could watch episode after episode....
and then...let's see tonight we are going to Wade and Jo's for a British holiday called Guy Fawke's Night where we are not going to pretend to burn the body of a terrorist...or are we...actually i think we are....in Scotland last year we were in Arbroath and i got to go see the Big Bonfire down by the Sea and i could hear the fireworks.....it's an interesting holiday that's for sure. My fellow americans would probably really enjoy it..but the only reason i was invited to this party is because i married a Brit....( and a fun fact for all of you....Scotland is actually a part of Britian, Britian does not mean just 'England' They are all Britian - Northern Ireland, Wales, Scotland and England....now you are all well informed)
so anyways i enjoy my days of work and i enjoy my days off.......i just wish the sun would come out in vancouver....i'm beginning to feel deprived of the sun... here's flags....where do they all belong to?

wish list

i can't think of anything that i want to put on here and we did have a great Captivating night with our girls..but i don't even feel like i can sum it up...so i'll just skip it for now and i'll just be simple and give you my wish list:

Blow Dryer
Hair Straightner
Some new tops
A pair of new jeans
A Digtial SLR Camera
money for outreach
A million little pieces by James Frey
a subscription to the Oprah Magazine
Coffee ( of any kind, starbucks gift card....etc...)
bobby pins
Jesus Among Other God's by Ravi Zacharias
new undergarments ( you know the neccesities)
i'm sure there's more..but of course i can't remember at this moment....

i think that's all for now....when i have a home there is a whole other wish list.....but maybe someone has tons of bobby pins they can give me some....:)
goodnight and God Bless

strange encounters

well....what a night. we were invited by our lovely friend andrea to go see this band ( this guy from manitoba that she went to school wtih ) him and his wife sing. .....so today we decided to venture out and go see this band....
so we find a parking spot...it's a little before 9pm..we walk up the stairs....the door is locked. But on the wall next to the door there is a sign that says..buzz here, or something like it....so we press the buzzer and this older man with a mustache opens the door very casually and polite and says 'you rang' and we are allowed entry. Then he asks how old we are, doesn't believe us and has to check all of our ID's one by one...although i'm not sure he checked andreas...but for sure he thought me, heather and jamie were all lying to him about our age.....he finally even puts his glasses on to check heather's ID. He finally believes we are of age..and we are the only ones there, the place looks deserted, there are about 3 to 4 'older' men there just drinking......were hoping that the band actually shows up...we're not sure about this place..it's called the Marine Club there are life preservers hanging everywhere ,it looks dusty and abandonded. ......but we are in for the adventure so jamie asks for a glass of wine and our host starts off with a story of going to the cellar looking through the cobwebs and the spiders and he does have red wine after all..he pours her a glass...the rest of us get drinks and wait for the band to show up. While we are waiting they turn on the lights in the place and play some johnny cash for us to enjoy. The band finally showed and they were great. ....one guy playing guitar and singing and his wife playing back up and they sounded great.....there wasn't much of a crowd, us, three other friends and the other band they were opening for...and we left after andrea's friends played so the crowd was even smaller....overall i had a great time with my friends and a good story to tell........here's another pic of jamie that turned out really funny.....

south pacific

i'll keep this one short....we have been invited to go on vacation with my Father in law and his wife over christmas to some South Pacific Location..( they have an island in mind but they need to confirm everything ) And so we also are leading one of the outreach teams for the DTS to North Africa and Amsterdam ..so basically we'll go on vacation with Mike's dad and Jo and spend christmas in some tropical location and then meet the team on the field. Yeah!!!!! I hope it all works out!!!! i'm so excited ...God is good.. we feel like this is a direct answer to prayer! And a blessing from God !!!!