i love my church

well..i just wanted to say that i love my church. me and mike both. we have been going to Kyle and Anna's house every Monday night and it is our church. (obviously it's a house church) I'm not sure if it has a name, but the website is theopenhouse.ca and maybe that's the name of the church the Open House....anyways, it's great,w e eat together and then right now we've been going through luke together and it's so great. It's what we've wanted church to be for a long time..a place where you connect with people and with God...where you all give and take, you don't just sit and listen to one man at the front, you each hear from God and share with each other and hopefully encourage, and challenge each other. We are really enjoying going and enjoying getting to know the people there more and more. so i just thought i'd share. i love my church.

obviously that is not our church. ( just in case you were wondering if Kyle and Anna lived there..they don't)

baby's hearbeat

Well....one of the most exciting things so far in pregnancy...on friday morning we had an appointment with the midwife and me and mike got to hear the baby's heartbeat. It makes it so much more real. I don't think it's really hit me yet that i'm having a baby..that we are having a baby...so friday was so nice to hear the little baby inside me. It's kind of amazing that there is a baby in there......

girls

well, last night was the last Captivating group, even while i was gone the girls have been meeting together and last night was to go over the last two chapters of the book....so even though i missed alot i was able to be here for the end and i'm so glad i was. and the last chapter of the book talks about having an irreplaceable role, that God has something for each of us to do that is irreplaceable and so the question to all of us was....do you know what your role is..and of course, since lately i've been feeling so lost, of course i didn't know what my role was, but amazing God.....He is so good to me. Even though i wasn't doing so well and i didn't say anything Heather started by encouraging in who i am, and others as well, just encouraged the things they see in me and just wanted to remind me in a way of what is already in me, of who God has made me to be. of course i was crying, But i really think God did some healing in me, through their words to me and through their prayers. i just want to thank you all...it meant to so much to me!!! Today i feel alot more hope..

crying

over the last few days i have been crying. sometimes i don't even know why, sometimes i think i know why but i cry so much that i wonder where it's all coming from. i am having a really hard time knowing what our life is going to look like, what we are going to be doing, what even i want to be doing......all these questions...we are having a baby, what does that mean for our lives?? so much going through my head...

random

Well, the house we really wanted is gone. So we have spent the weekend looking at many other houses, none we loved, one we liked. one way too far away..and lots that were horrible. Today i bought my first baby car seat ( thanks to heather who helped me find it and pick it up and knows what she's doing) i got a great deal. I also had a meeting with Mike D. and Stefan and a Christian businessmen about Coffee Shop stuff in Vancouver, so that was very encouraging meeting and i think i'm going to keep moving forward in that whole area...
i'm tired, we are going to church tonight at Kyle and Anna's house church, looking forward to that. i'm bringing fruit salad for dessert cause that's what i want to eat. i don't have much else to say except that if mike doesn't get home soon we will be late for dinner/church. gotta go now.

This is the house we want. it looks small, but it's not that small. it has 5 bedrooms ( 3 upstairs and 2 that are rented out with the suite downstairs) And it has beautiful hardwood floors, a fire place, it's a great location. We both really really like it. But we don't even know if it's still available. So we'll see. Pray that God's will is done please. We just want to keep seeking God about this house thing, but we still feel we are to keep moving forward, but it's so hard when we have NO money. But we're only moving in faith if we can move toward something where it is impossible to do without God right?? Does that make sense....We just really want to know what He is saying, we feel as if we are crazy but we just think we are to move foward. Please let us know if you get anything.

emotional rollercoaster

well......what can i say? i feel as if i'm on an emotional rollercoaster. i'm not sure if being pregnant is the reason why , or if i would be like this anyways..it's nice to blame it on being pregnant though....but i think in reality it is all kinds of things adding up...like the fact that we don't have a place of our own, i feel a little bit like i'm living in a box. it's great to stay here, but it'd be so nice to be able to really unpack and feel at 'home'. which i know i already said this in my last blog. and i guess in other aspects i feel pretty unsure about alot of things at the moment. a bout what we are doing, about what ministry we are going to get involved in. About that kind of stuff.....thinking about having a baby i feel as if i'm tempted to worry about money to buy all these new baby things, worried about where we are going to live, worried about everything. But God keeps speaking pretty clearly about Trusting Him. i feel as if He has been silent lately but in reality the one thing I know He has spoken clearly is to TRUST Him and to have faith, and faith isn't always easy because God wants to go deeper with us and to know that we are trusting Him and believing even when we don't feel like it. My prayer lately has been, 'i believe , help my unbelief' i feel like i know His character is good. i know His heart is to take care of us, and I know He loves my baby even more than me and mike do, and yet i know that somehow i can't believe without His help. Trust, Have Faith, ~Confess the promises God has given. Enter the land and find rest....that is what He has been saying lately. So when the rollercoaster keeps going up and down, in all of it I want to at least cling to Him....He is my rock and my shelter, He is my strong foundation. anyways...i guess that's a bit of me and where i am at.

Where to Begin

We are 'home' for now. Or our temporary home at least. We have arrived back in Vancouver after being gone for over 2 months and it's nice to be home, but it's also a reminder that we don't have a home right now. It's great to be able to stay with 'family' we are staying in Randy and Rita's guest room right now and it's definitely a blessing. I love being with this family, it makes me feel at least for a little while that i have a place to stay where we are welcome and can make ourselves at home. But you know it's not the same as having your own place, and i think just being married i really just want my own place even more. As well as i think because I'm pregnant i'm going to hit that nesting period soon wher ei just ant to make a home. I already feel like that is what i want more than anything right now, just to make a home, to have a place that is ours and to make it home. And it's been interesting because for a long time i have felt that God had promised me a house, but i wasn't sure when, where, what that meant. And again i have that sense that God wants us to believe in faith for a house of our own. It would take a miracle because in Vancouver houses are so expensive, but we feel we are to ask God in faith for a house and see what He does. So if you think of it, just pray for us that God would do what He wants and ask in faith with us that God will provide a house. We want to know that at the end God is going to get all the credit. But it's nice to be back in Vancouver and to see my friends.