this week i had a life

this week i actually had a life.
Monday night
i went for coffee with my new friend Katie, just me and her, mike put kael to bed and me and katie ended up talking for hours. it was great.
Tuesday morning was a new mum's group, which i have such a high hopes for. it was a group of women who all have kids around the same age, ( from baby to 2 1/2) and Bonnie is leading it and Bonnie has 7 kids, ( the youngest are 14) So, she has lots of wisdom, advice for us....she's going to give us simple advice , like cleaning tips, cooking tips, and she will also pass onto us lots of other things.
Wednesday: went to Madtown twisters me, katie, kael and george loved it.
Thursday: mum's group and such a beautiful lunch, homemade soup and salad. And all the mom's got to sit around the table and talk while the kids actually played together. It was great.
And so...this week i had a life. And mike even noticed i was happier...
tomorrow is a kids consignment sale i'm hoping to get to as well. hope i find some good finds. and maybe we might go to visit mike's dad. He lives in the caribbean and he might pay for us to go to visit..(in just over a week) just trying to check out details and see if it's all going to work out, since it's so quick......we'll see..........

thanks to my friend eva

it's so weird, how when things are rough, i actually want to blog, because i feel so lonely lately that it seems like i'm actually sharing with 'friends' what is going on when it put on my blog. But in truth, i actually need to reach out to people....not that those who read this aren't people. but i need to make myself vulnerable enough to reach out to and talk to specific friends....
and this week was horrible...well, the week wasn't actually horrible it's just that all my feelings hit the surface ( as well as i'm sure prego hormones mixing in with the feelings that were already there) anyways..so tuesday i just 'lost it' in a way, i broke down crying to mike, very frustrated with my life, or lack of, frustrated with having no friends with my whole life revolving around kael and mike ( even though i love them dearly of course) and i'm ready to quit work, working while pregnant is not fun, in fact it's getting more difficult to wake up at 415 am and then stand for 8 1/2 hrs....so in the midst of this crying, mike had to go pay a bill, and while he was out, someone knocked on the door and delivered flowers. My friend Eva, from Scotland, didn't even know what was going on with me, sent me flowers with a note that said 'Jessi, just wanted you to know how wonderful and special you are. I treasure your friendship. love you lots. love, eva' and of course that sent me over the edge as well and i bawled some more. it's amazing how just when you need a friends words can just be exactly what you needed to hear. God knew too. so, thanks to my friend eva.....it meant to so much.

madtown twisters

i'm not sure if i've posted about this yet or not. But i took kael to madtown twisters today. It's a gymnastic place, but everyday between 11am-12:45 they have open todller gym, with lots of foamy toys for them to play with, and open space to run around on all the soft floors, trampolines, so much for kids to do. And kael loves it. he ran around the entire time, finding lots of things to play on/with. and i love it too because he gets to use up all his energy, he gets to see hang/out with other kids ( not that he really plays with them) and i can relax a little it. My friend katie went with me today with her son, George who is just a bit older than kael. it's so worth it. And we can talk while they roam free. the only thing was that this week is spring break so there were tons of kids. but next week will be a bit more calm again. anyways....i wish my posts were about deeper things but that was day today so i thought i'd share.

things i really like lately.......

well, i'm in a good mood. so i thougth i'd share some of the things i've been enjoying greatly lately.....

KT tunstall's album 'eye to the telescope' me and kael like to dance to it.

naps...i had a nap today while kael napped and i know it's the reason i feel 10x better.

pickles....again me and kael love them

sunshine and warmer weather...currently it is 47 and feels like summer.

the book Beautiful Boy

my mom...she sent me clothes she bought for me ( just cause) and we're going to visit her this weekend ( hopefully my dad too) and i know she'll take care of me.

and i love my friends ( even though right now i'm missing them terribly)

musings.......

well, i'm not sure if you'd really call them musings... right now as i speak kael is dumping lots and lots of crumbs on the floor from the muffin he didn't eat. one thing i'm so sick of is our dirty floor, and it takes me forever to sweep and then kael no time at all to make sure there are crumbs and food all over it again.
what i want right now is to sit with a hot cup of tea and a yummy muffin and read. without interruption, without me needing to get up and do anything unless it's something i want to do.
i'm reading the book called giving birth.
I had an appointment with a midwife on monday to discuss my options for a VBAC.
.....ok that was a few days ago. it's friday night. my floor is still dirty. i just watched the movie/documentary " The Business of Being Born' and i recommend it to anyone having a baby or interested in the whole idea of midwives vs doctors. Very very interesting movie. it makes me so want to have a homebirth. It is very similiar in it's views to a book i'm reading currently 'Giving Birth'
so....more days later......i miss having friends. feeling pretty lonely lately. and i want someone to cook a homestyle meal for me. roast beef and gravy or something. that's all for now. this post isn't really about much....