choices

k, so me and my mom went to Target today to register for my baby shower and it brought on so many dilema's?? where are we goign to live?? and wherever we live, will our room be big enough to have a co-sleeper crib, ?? if not, should i register for another crib i like??
then are we going to do cloth diapers or disposable? so, should i register for cloth diapers and all of that?? ahhh, and stupid things like, how are we going to decorate the babies room?? should i register for only things we need or some fun things as well?? ahh, i just sat on the floor of target for awhile not sure what to do.....who knows if i'll even get anything from the register. so yeah,
it's nice to hang out with my family......my brother and i got home at about 230 am last night we were so tired.but i got to see where he works, and he ran this whole talent show for little kids thorugh the YMCA that he works at, it was awesome, the kids were so funny, some were not so talented, others were, either way it was funny to see the world in which we are about to enter, the world of kids and hoping your kid is the one on the stage that doesn't freeze up and not sing any of the song she's meant to......maybe we'll have a kid like the one that sang the johnny cash song 'walk the line' mike would've loved it, i miss him and wish he was with me, but at least we don't debate over whether we sleep with the window open or closed.

off to wisconsin

well....it's almost 7am, and we are about to leave so mike can drive me to seattle and i can fly to wisconsin......i'm going home for 10 days and it's going to be great. the only thing is i'm going to miss mike alot. i'm looking forward to spending time with my mom and relaxing...i'll have almost a whole house to make myself at home..so at least for 10 days i don't have to think of finding aplace to live .i can just enjoy being home. so i'll keep you posted, i'm going back to the land of dial-up connections though so my patience will be tried in uploading onto my blog.:) it takes forever.
anyways...i'm sure i'll have intersting thoughts once i arrive....
and i get to meet my brother's girlfriend..and she is nervous to meet me i heard, so i'll try not to be too hard on her, she is picking me up from the airport so i'll have her all to myself until we make it to where my brother is. it's going to be fun. i'll let you know how it goes....those of you in vancouver, take care of mike for me while i'm gone okay?? he'll be bored, invite him over, talk to him....

joy and 'pain'

well.....after that beautiful sunny day post, we found out we didn't get the place we want cause we are having a baby.....not because there was someone else better suited (because no one else applied for the suite) but because they didn't want the baby to be too noisy...so i cried while i ate my breakfast the other day, and i'm done crying now, although i still don't understand why we didn't get it, maybe they'll change their minds, maybe we will get it..i don't know. i'm sure you're all sick of hearing about how we don't havr a place to live, but we've realized that it's been a year in may that we packed up our place in scotland and we haven't really had our own place to live .....i'm sure God has taught us alot, me and mike are 'home' to each other, we've adapted to different situations, we've been able to travel, we've grown in our friendship and marriage despite not having our own place. at least we have each other. that's the pain and the joy, i want mike to myself for the last three months before our little one comes into the world....and so i want our own place and the joy is that i have mike with me in this adventure.

it's a beautiful day

sunshine is one of my favorite things. today has been an absolutely beautiful day....we looked at a place we really like, it's been the best so far in the whole area of renting...so we are really hoping that we get it if that's what God wants.....so pray that it works out the way it is suppossed to and if we get it we'd be living directly across the park from Leigh and Ang....and we'd be so close to the pool i swim at now. last night i went swimming....and it feels so good to excercise and i love swimming. so i'm definitely going to try and keep that up so that i'm not completely out of shape when i have this baby....
days with sunshine make you feel completely better though, they lift your whole attitude. i love it. this isn't a very deep blog.....i haven't had many deep thoughts lately .......

peace in the moment

well, i haven't really talked much about our 'house' situation lately, so i thought i'd let you all in on my feelings with where things are at. We have been looking at apartments to rent now and i still want to look at some houses for sale, although it doesn't seem as if any money has come in, so we're not really sure what God is up to, it's curious because it seems as if God has been quite silent about all of this....although in the past week i have been convicted about just being grateful and trusting God's character..He knows our needs more than we even realize, He is good, He is faithful, He is true to His word, so therefore, He hasn't forgotten us, He just hasn't really let us in on His plan, so i've learned to be alot more patient, to trust in Him even when i don't understand and right now although it is still not ideal to be house guests for this long we have to know that God is working on our behalf....everytime we look at a place we trust God to speak to us, everytime we are faithful to do our part I believe God is doing His part, and that is all i know right now. to be at peace in the moment, to take it day by day and to keep moving forward and not let ourselves get stuck in negative thoughts, in self-pity, and to be honest with God about our frustrations but then come back to the point where He is good and He will come through for use and our baby. so that's where i'm at .....finding peace in the moment, enjoying the days as they come.

confession

I've always wanted to be a writer. i'm not really sure what i'd like to write, but i would like to one day try to write something.....i wanted to go to school to be a photojournalist for awhile, that would still be cool......so i do'nt know, tha'ts all, that's my confession, that i want to write, i dont know what....but i would like to write something.

mike's mum and ronnie

well.....it's been a busy week, sorry for the lack of posting....i feel as if it's been a whirlwind of activity......we were out of town last weekend, then we came back to busy days at the office with meetings about how we can improve our ywam base and how we do things etc....and then, me and mike had another ultrasound....and then...mike's mum and fiance came to visit us and they have just flown back to Louisiana today.....and we are finally able to breathe just a little bit. we got home today from seattle and had to eat dinner and then head straight over to our birthing class.....so now i'm tired and i'm ready to just relax and go to sleep. but it's been very good, we have been very blessed just being able to have a mini-vacation here in vancouver with mike's mum and fiance. We went to the movies, went out to dinner ( and of course they paid for everything) we were just able to get to know Ronnie more and mike enjoyed having his mom around. And i have been praying for maternity clothes for so long and they took me shopping to get maternity clothes...and they bought us a bunch of baby clothes as well....so we have been very blessed by them. So it's been very good.....and now i'm ready to rest. so i'll share thoughts soon but for now just an update and you can linda and her fiance.

emily

Just want to say Happy Birthday again to my dear friend Emily...i know it was yesterday...but i hope you had a great day and know you are loved sooo much!!!!

life is moving

Well......first of all, our weekend to spokane was awesome! ( the city itself is not very great, it's like one giant strip mall) John Maxwell is such a great speaker, i felt convicted and inspired all at the same time. The weekend was so refreshing in so many ways, to be able to be back in the states is always nice, and then to get teaching on Leadership was soo good.....and it was great to have our own 'space' for the weekend, and for me and mike just to have time together to talk again about our lives and what we want to do. And then this week we have been having our meetings with the whole ywam vancouver base on how we can improve our base, the ministry we do, the programs we run etc etc.....Definitely feel as if we have some direction now and we are moving .....i guess that's how we feel that finally we are moving.....(and we hope to be moving houses soon too...:)
sorry it's still short, but its an update on the weekend i guess.

just for fun

well, this is an old picture but i don't have time to really write right now...so this is what you get . a pic of me in the shetland islands with some shetland ponies...:) i'll write as soon as i can.

off for the weekend

well folks.....me and mike are headed to spokane for the weekend..we are going to some business meetings and john maxwell is speaking...and i am really looking forward to it.....we are going to stay in a hotel ( my parents have kindly paid for) and we are going to actually get our own 'place' for the weekend...:) it'll be a nice break.......so we're leaving early tomorrow and driving back to my homeland....And i just wanted you all to know how excited i am for it. So i hope you have great weekends too........bye

live

live life.
that's what i really want to do.
i want to live life to the fullest. to be fully who i am meant to be. to live out of myself, not to strive to be anybody but to 'be'. to radiate the person that i am meant to be. to be at rest within myself. to know myself well enough to know what brings me life, what God has called me to do. To not let myself grow lazy but to always push beyond. push beyond normal, and mundane, to ask myself ot expect more ofmyself day by day..but again not out of striving but out of relationship with Jesus..out of passion, out of love. Our of love of life. o be excited for teh new day and teh possibitilies. To not let myself lose hope....because when you lose hope you lose the ability to see life through a new set of glasses, glasses that make the world sparkle..or make the images clearer....you can see beyond the normal..you can taste more than food. i don't want to lose hope anymore. i want to live life again ....real life...with love.
those are my thoughts....hope they make sense.

light

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fablous? "Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson


Jesus was not afraid of His light.
"I am"
Our messiah was not fearful of his power, nor intimated by his splendour.
mocked...beaten...insulted...riduculed.....
Jesus does not recant his majest.

Jesus was not afraid of His light.
He came to shine
He came to manifest the glory of God in all circumstances
in nails
in wine
in open waters
in a secluded garden

Jesus was not afraid of His light.

If we are the people of God, then we are Of God
If God is light,
and power,
and love,
Then we are also created within this majestic framework,
Carrying within us this light
and power
and love.

God's light in us is meant ot radiate.
in All circumstances
in fears
in songs
in empty arms
in plentiful harvest


Jesus was not afraid of His light.

Presented with death....
Jesus does not recant His glory
"I am"
This is no ordinary light
This is not light intended to be hidden
nor light created to cause fear
This is our GOD
This is the Spirit
This is His Kingdom.
Let your light so shine before men.


Jesus was not afraid of His light
In the same way

Let your light so shine before men

- Emily Parsons

my life right now

well...if we were together, i'd offer you coffee and just sit with you and share what's been going on in my life these past few days. it seems like not much and some big stuff as well.... i'm sure some of you have read on mike's blog about our ultrasound experience. i guess i thought it was going to be one of those momentous experiences of seeing our baby for the first time....and it was mixed emotions. the lady was a horrible doctor and mike wans't allowed in the room with me for the longest time and then finally because he asked another nurse if he could come in....and so he was finally allowed in, but then she wasn't really going to let me see the baby on the screen until i had to ask, it was pretty upsetting...i didn't understand why she didn't see this as more of an experience for us, she was very clinical and rude.
that kind of took alot out of us....it was hard, emotionally especially. and we were expecting to find out if it was a boy or a girl but she wouldn't tell us.....
anways........so other than that...last night we hung out with leigh and ang...and actually went out for coffee, which was so nice just to get out of the house and sit somwhere nice and just talk with friends......then we watched a movie i wouldn't recommend.
and then today!!! We found another house we like...it's on 7th in between victoria and commercial..it's beautiful....great rooms......great house, and so we called our real estate agent to see about putting in an offer but after awhile, he suggested we don't bother because of our income and where our money stands at....so kind of discouraging. its hard to explain to a non -christian businessman about believing in faith for some miracle. but in the end we didn't go for it. i guess we're going to pray tonight and see if God makes anything else clear. either way, we need our own place asap. for our own sanity. and then tonight we hung out with our lovely friends jamie, craig and henri....ordered in pizza and got a movie while we ate our ice cream..good times......it was nice to be out of the house for a day.
so yeah, that's where i'm at ...kind of..there is of course me trying to figure out our lives and where we want to live and what we want to do....i feel i'm getting more clarity day by day, i think. just need more and more speace of our own to think about things, to reflect, to be at peace. that's all for now.....