Tuesday, June 05, 2007

should i stay at work?

well friends....since i don't have tons of people here to process my decisions with, you are my family and i would like some advice.
Mike and I are talking about whether i should stay at my starbucks job. I know, i know..i just started. i do feel like i would be a quitter and that is hard for me to do..but we are just wanting to assess whether it is working for our family or not, and is it worth it?

Mike is finding it hard to get much work done when he is home with Kael and his job may involve more responsibilities and so it may not even be possible for him to get all the work he needs to get done if i don't come home. My paychecks are not huge but they do help. We could live without the money it is nice but we could make do without.

Kael has become really clingy lately....i am not sure whether it is a stage or because i have gone back to work. So, i'm struggling with that. i feel guilty that i'm gone more than i was before and wonder if it would just be better for little kael if i was home. He has gotten worse at taking his naps and so it is even harder for mike cause Kael hasn't been napping at all. and maybe if i was home and my schedule wasn't so unpredictable we it would help kael if he had a more predictable schedule.
again, i'm not sure if it matters if it's me or mike home with it or if i'm just feeling guilty.

i kind of like having a job. i like getting out of the house and doing something else, but i wouldn't say i love it. I wouldn't say it would be my number one choice. I think if i made some friends....like today when i went to the zoo with katie and Sarah it was nice to get out of the house, do something with girls, talk to other girls and have fun...so if i have more developed friends maybe i wouldn't need that outlet of starbucks at all.
i would like to pursue other things like being a doula, or trying to make more time for creative things and i could maybe put a little time into that if i didn't have a job.....

as i'm writing i'm seeing more positives about coming home but i'm still unsure about making that choice. any thoughts friends?

3 comments:

Emilie Schmitz said...

I don't have kids yet, but I gotta think the best thing you can do for the kid you have is be there with them and give them consistency! If you don't need the money Jess, then stay home and simplify your life - let God take care of the rest... Love you, Em

Emily Deu said...

you could talk to starbucks and tell them what's up and see if they would allow you to work like one day a week, I mean maybe not, but you never know! Or as a back up or something.

Anonymous said...

its a tough one... but know that you wouldn't be a quitter if you did stop working there. Its ok to admit that sometimes things don't work out like you thought they would.