i'm going to the zoo

so all through the church service i couldn't stop crying....i was trying, but it wasn't working. lack of sleep probably didn't help but also i was also thinking how i just wanted a friend. it's more than that, i was just realizing today how much my life has changed. i was watching this girl who i just met, she has a five month old baby, she is in charge of the kids ministry at the church, has a part time job, and is on the worship team, now she will also be going to a small group with us, and i was jealous. to be able to have your life already together and your kid is 5 months old. i realized that i'm just starting out. since Kael has been born our lives have been completely unstable. i haven't had friends with me to talk to ( of course i have all my friends, but just not here in the same city) i don't have mom's groups to go to...most people have their lives that are going along, they are part of things, either their church, their friends, their life and so then they have a baby and there is adjusting but some things get to stay the same ( in a way) i didn't get that. my life has not stayed the same at all, it has changed a few times since kael has come along. so i have been adjusting, while trying to start a life. it's exhausting..but so ...at the end of church i wanted to talk to this woman i met the other day...she goes to our chruch, and is having a baby any day....and so i ended up talking to her, and another mum friend i met who has a 1 yr old and we are going to go to the zoo together, the three of us on Tuesday( that is if sarah doesn't have her baby) so that will be great. the zoo here is free too. how cool is that?

Also, me and mike are going to be going to small group, for married couples and we're going to go through the book love and respect. So i'm looking forward to my week ahead.
we also had a newcomers lunch today after church, where we and other new people got to know the church staff a bit better. so i'm feeling much more hopeful.