it's 5 am and i have been awake for over an hour, i'm exhausted, my body aches and all i want to do is to crawl into bed and be able to drift off into a restful sleep....the problem is when i was in bed i was also exhausted and tossing and turning, so i've been cleaning out my email box and just hoping i'll get so tired that i can just crawl back into bed and sleep with no problems. it's now less than 5 weeks til we meet our baby. i'm feeling more ready although i was talking with someone last night who said, you never feel ready and i guess that made me feel better..i think more and more though i have been thinking about life and what i want my life to look like, and how is going to change now that we are going to have a baby....but ultimately some things are still the same, and i can't put my life on complete hold while having children, otherwise i wouldn't do anything for years and years. so i'm hoping to find a balance and to find time to keep pursueing things i feel God has put in my heart....i'm wondering if it is possible to actually go to school part time while being a mother, maybe not right away but eventually. i think i would like to get some further training to keep pursueing the kind of ministry i'd really like to do. i've had some interesting thoughts lately as well, i wonder what it owuld be like to be a odula, and if that is somethign i would like to do. i'm curious at least about it. after writing just this little bit i'm even more tired than i was when i started so i think i'll try and get back into my lovely bed and see if sleep will take over my body. hope you all had better rest than i've had so far. goodmorning and goodnight.
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