kael's favorite playground

fall is here

this morning i woke up to beautiful weather ( and my thoughtful husband let me sleep in this morning) it's in the 50's today and the colors are starting to come out.i love fall. it's my favorite season of them all. So, put kael in his cute little flannel shirt and headed for a walk in the park. and i actually got exercise. i've been eating better lately but exercise wasn't happening, so i just decided even just getting out was a start. so i'm proud of myself, i love the day already. kael is being a bit cranky but i'm sure it'll pass. he's cute either way and he's mine. ( didn't take the pic and it's not that colorful yet...but i'm excited for it to be. )

i'd love to have a campfire and roast marshmallows and drink hot chocolate. or something like that.

old friends

lately i've been nostalgic. and realizing how many amazing people i have met along my journey and i wish that i had been better at keeping in touch and wish i was better at keeping in touch.....and now people are married, some have kids, some have moved all over the world......people in teams i have led, schools i have staffed, led, or been part of, it's been absolutely a privilege to meet all the people i have.....
and if anyone of you is reading this..ad is around Wisconsin anytime soon, please come and see me ...i'd love to hear how your lives are going....

stress and food

so i've realized since living in madison hat i am a comfort eater. i never thought i wasn't but i never really thought about it. but since living here i have realized how much i am a comfort eater. when i bored, when i wish i was talking with a friend..etc...so unfortunately all that weight i lost back in Scotland...i gained about half of it back. so i'm back on a diet. so ....i was watching Martha Stewart ( i know not everyone loves her, but i like some of her stuff) and part of the show was about how the foods we eat can help us to not be as stressed. how they help us 'cope' with stress and interestingly....... i've been feeling better this week. i don't feel as stressed, i don't feel as 'sad' and today and i'm wondering if part of that is the diet. i have been trying to make a conscious choice to be more positive this week, and i've also had more interaction with other women...so i'm sure this is all contributing to me having a better week. but i wonder if the diet is helping as well...more than i realized. so just thought i'd share my thoughts......

hmmm......

well, not much to say. but i did go to a mum's small group today and i loved it. just being with other mnm's, other women, it was really relaxed, just getting to know each other. i made apple butter, well, am making apple butter. i watched the very last episode of last season's grey's anatomy, and i'm soo hooked on grey's and am very much looking forward to this next season. well...that's about it, i guess. just wanted to post, even though it's not about much.....

September 18th

today......this very day, september 18th, but 7 years ago.... I joined ywam vancouver. I had already done my DTS and was now returning to be 'staff' . such a crazy thought. so many years ago. this day has always had that significance to me. the day i truly moved from home to start my own life. and what an adventure it was. Randy parizeau and Heidi picked me up from the airport in Vancouver in Randy's little car. I went to my new 'home' and felt so awkward. who knew i would develop some amazing relationships, get the chance to be part of people's lives, be part of people's journey's, take people places like India, Thailand, Morocco....etc.....meet my husband and then on this very day sept 18th 2004, i officially left ywam vancouver. ( i didn't know on that day, although i did suspect that i would be back there) the past 7 years has really been a part of my life that is not so easy to sum up. that's probably why it's been an 'adjustment' it wasn't just school, or an experience it was where i grew up, grew into who i am now. Those friendships i made along the way, those are so meaningful to me, Wade and Jo, Randy and Rita, Mike and Jen, Rachel, Audrey, Angela, Ben, John, Heather, all those i did my dts with and then continued on staff with, my friendships with jamie and emily only grew stronger......all those shared memories of good and bad, all the tears, the laughter, ( girls remember the trip to Angela's wedding and all the giggling in the trailer.....) road trips, i feel like i shared so many different parts of me....i got to be real, transparent, and because of that i drew close to so many of you. this isn't a sad post it's mostly a reflection of such joy in my life. Thank you .....there are way too many people to list..way too many memories, but i am so grateful for all of you, and i'm so grateful for the journey i've been on, i wouldn't trade it for anything. so today is a celebration of where we have come from and where we are going too......

back from vacation

well...we got back on friday night from our week at the lake. Lake michigan that is. it was great. we were in ahouse right on the lake, so every morning, we took beach walks, sometimes just me and mike and sometimes me, mike and kael. kael got to play in the sand alot, (although it was cold so sometimes he had on a hat, and lots of layers) but he liked the sand and would throw it all over us. he also met my relatives for the first time, my aunt penny, aunt kelly, my grandma, and my cousins, brian, lexie and brendan...and he loved them all, He especially loved my aunt kelly's dog, angus. he really is a people person/baby...:) he loves being around people and he's ecome even more animated lately, smiling and laughing so much. he's soo fun. i love the little person that he is. he's such a little character, and has so much personality.
i'll have to post pics later cause we forgot our camera so we'll have to get my dad to email them to me. anyways....that's all for now. i don't work until tuesday so i'm enjoying my 'vacation' still.

elusive

so....at times i know i've been honest on here and other times not so deep...i debate what to share, and for awhile felt like all i was doing was complaining...about how hard life was..how tired i was, etc etc.....well i can't say that too much has changed except the realization that it isn't 'where i live' or that kael can be alot of work, it's mostly just me at the moment. i'm not sure what's going on....but i need a change somehow. i feel like i've been lost for awhile....and i'm not exactly sure how to find my way back to peace..some days i find some steps towards it but others it seems elusive. just wanted to share something real.