at least 16 pounds

k peeps..so this whole time that we have been back in scotland, me and mike have been on this special thing called 'body for life' it's a workout/ excercise program and eating diet. it's supposed to help guys get in shape and gain muscle and help girls lose weight and tone muscle. So i'm not sure what my actual body-fat percentage was last time, but i do know that I've managed to lose at least 16 pounds on this diet. I know alot of you haven't seen me in awhile, and you haven't really seen me since right after i had kael. i feel great. i feel much better and more confident. I'll post some pics when i get back to the states and have other clothes beside my maternity clothes i'm still wearing. ( or the clothes i bought while i was larger) I've wanted to lose weight for awhile and i'm so relieved that i actually managed to do it. I've got more weight to lose so i'll still be working on it, but it's such a good start i think. so i'm celebrating. (not by eating tons of food..;)

four days left

ooh well, i didn't realize some of you didn't know we were moving back to wisconsin. We are leaving here on wednesday...yeah!!! and will be staying with my parents until we find our own place. we are planning on living in madison, wi. that is the plan. we don't really know many people there , have never really been there, and so we are just moving forward, the decision makes sense and doesn't make sense all at the same time. We are looking forward to being on our own again, i'm looking forward to cooking in my own kitchen and for kael to have his own bedroom. for us to have our own bedroom. For our little family to relax a bit. so not much to say, but just a little more info on our upcoming move, if you think about it, please pray for smooth travel for kael, ( and us) and also for us to find an awesome place in madison, the right price, and place. and also for kael to adjust well to the time difference. he has been teething all week, so i'm tired, very tired in most every way. but excited about moving into the next season. stayed tuned.......

almost over

It's almost over, Our time here. We had friends come down for teh weekend, Our friends Rodney and Eva and there little girl Abby. Abby is 13 months and so cute. She puts everything in her mouth or licks. This weekend she even licked an air freshner...she didn't like that very much Her and Kael seemed to like each other, they would reach for each other's hands. Although she tried stealing his dummy all the time..:) We had a great time with them, it's nice to have friends, to feel normal for the weekend. relax, laugh, talk. good times. and now it's almost a week til we leave..yeah!!! sooo great! so here are some more pics of kael..

first tooth

kael got his first tooth. no wonder he was screaming in the night.
we went away for the weekend to this Loch and stayed in a Log Cabin. It was gorgeous, so relaxing and restful. And kael slept like a dream. so amazing. i got so much sleep, and felt great. and i didn't have to cook, it really was a vacation. here are some pics of us on our weekend.
kael loves to grab your face. there is he grabbing his grandpa's face.

i'm stealing jamies test.....here's mine

well, i thought it was so much fun taking jamie's test i thought i'd do my own..


www.testriffic.com/friendtest/2514901
i can't get it to go so you can click on it......so you might have to cut and paste..sorry...

self -confidence

So, i've had a recent revelation. it might seem like common sense or maybe you hadn't thought about it at all..but this is my revelation: it takes alot of self-confidence to be a mom.
confidence to raise your kid the way you think is best for your kid. confidence to do the right thing. you know in high school when there's the 'cool' kids, and the jocks, etc...there are different groups, well partly i feel like in motherhood there is that too....there is the 'attachement parenting' group, there is the Baby Wise people, those that immunize , those that don't. etc etc.....and it's a bit like peer pressure, or the thought that maybe i'm doing the wrong thing, should i be doing something else. And maybe other mothers dont actually struggle with this,but i've realized in the past 6 months my own fear of what people think in regards to some things, For example: (living in community...there is a woman who lives right across from us who can hear every cry and wecan hear her cough) and i'm afraid that if kael cries she's going to think i'm a bad parent, stupid, i know. but these thought have crossed my mind. why do i care? i don't know. but i want to not care and i want to do what is right for kael, do my best, and not worry what others think, just know that I love him and I am not a bad parent.
looking back on this time i feel like God is just wanting me to become myself. and to let go of a few things. it's so easy to judge when we are on the outside looking in, or just so easy to idealize certain things, and i've had to let go of some of those things...like making my own baby food, it's something i really wanted to do...but since we have no kitchen it's a bit hard, so i gave in and bought jarred food and kael is fine, and he likes it. Also, i didn't want him to use a dummy, (pacificer, soother, Nuk, etc) but i'm so glad that he does, otherwise he would really like to be nursing all day long....
so i've determined that there is no formula, there is wisdom you can learn from other people, but at the end of the day, you have to be confident in your ability to raise your own kid. Be humble enough to learn from others, and be strong enough to do the right thing. so those are my thoughts for today.