Well.....i've been reading, well i read, i finished it in two days..the book 'Wanting all the Right things' and it has spoken to exactly where i have been at recently....it was so refreshing and i feel like i'm renewed a bit. In lots of ways. i think mostly just that it wasn't me alone feelng all these things..even my friend heather's blog..i can relate to ( although i do not have twins, so i'm only half as tired/busy etc as she might be) The book is about 'finding a spiritual, blanced and fulfilled ' life
she talks about how we have all these desires for lives of significance, beauty, solitude, intimacy, financial security, etc etc..
the part i could relate to was about how we we all want to be great mothers, great wives, we want to love and serve our family but we feel guilty if we also want to pursue things outside of them..but she said something that really made sense to me....the whole chapter goes into a lot more...but one line that made sense to me was

'don't our children need to see their mothers enjoying parenting and their own adult interests simultaneously? Isn't there enough time in the day to love our kids and ourselves?

there is so much more to it than that about how we feel guilty if we are 24/7 doing something productive/active with or for our kids. how we have this attitude of putting our lives on hold for them until we have 50 yrs old.

i do not want to put my life on hold..i want to enjoy my life with mike and kael. and my own life. I also got an email from my aunt penny and she really encouraged me..she said "You have great instincts and you will do fine. It is great to get lots of advice (info) on how to raise Kael but you in your heart will know whats right.....you have a fantastic foundation from which to base all your decisions on and a great mom and dad to always help. You will do fine."
it was very encouraging.....my mom said similiar things about how we can read all these books and hear all this advice but really in our hearts we know what the right thing to do with our children is...
so that's my thoughts lately...feeling much better and having more energy and feeling more positive......