my dad

my dad is coming ! he drives semi-truck and has a trip out here and so the timing is perfect. He'll arrive late tonight, get some sleeep and we'll hook up with him the morning. me and mike are going to go camping tonight and then we'll be right there in the morning when he is there too....so cool. He's already picked out this little town we can hang out in for the day. I'm very blessed. Itll be fun to see my dad and i'm definitely more pregnant than when i saw im last. And he's bringing me baby shower gifts that i couldn't fit in my suitcase last time. i love my dad. one thing i thing is the greatest about him is he is always growing, always learning and always willing to change. Me and Him are very alike in that we are opinionated and strong-willed and we use to fight all the time. But we have learned to communicate really well and now we so close because of it. I respect Him very much for the hard-worker he is but so much because even though He is stubborn and strong He will listen to you, he will listen to God, He will be willing to see Himself in new ways, He will let God show him how to be a better man, He will admit his weaknesses...He will change and grow. And i love that about him so much. So, this is for my dad!!!

some pics of me and mike

just wanted to share some more pictures from the day.....
me and my baby....
and me and my belly..;)

jamie & craig's wedding

it's over. the wedding was absolutely beautiful. one of my favorite weddings to be part of and to see two people i love so much get married. i had a great time......just wanted to put some pics on here right away, they are all emily's pictures ....and there are some great ones.

staying alive

so..just a quick update. lots and lots of wedding plans......i can't believe jamie and craig are getting married so soon....i feel like my brain is full of wedding plans.....hard to think of anything else. So we've been helping jamie do all the last minute things that need to get done. And emily is staying here with me and it's so nice to see her, and hang out and catch up on lots of things....
and so we'll be pretty busy these next few days, but just wanted to check in and say what we're up to. tomorrow we will be with all the bridesmaids, the last two fly in tomorrow and we will pick them up, there will be four of us from tomahawk, together again. one with a baby, me with a baby on the way, emily married and jamie about to.......so many changes, so much going on.....it's fun. so no deep thoughts....just day to day happenings...
and i'm going to put a pic of sophia in here that mike took the other day at drive fest....isn't she cute!

this is where we live

yesterday was 'the drive fest' ...comemrcial drive was closed down for blocks to traffic and there were bands playing, drum circles, people selling lots of fun things from their shops....all the restraunts had created outdoor cafe's on the street.......it was so much fun. me and mike walked down there and enjoyed it so much. the excitement, the fun, the life of the drive. it was so great just to walk around and take it all in, enjoy the sun, we hooked up with our buddies from church....and just took our time walking around together. and ended up by having dinner together on the drive....was definitely one of those days where i was so happy to be living here, i love the summer and the feel of the drive and it felt so good just to walk around and enjoy the atmosphere.......
we took some pics of me in my prego belly. so here are some of the pics from the day. my belly is so much bigger now....enjoying my baby inside me and me and mike are looking forward to having our baby with us more and more and more. we signed up today on the drive to win a free massage and the guy said we should sign up our baby too and after the baby is born they can do baby massage. so maybe he'll win too......i hope i win though...:) well, that's my lovely day. hope yours was good too.

life is moving fast

life is moving fast. it really is. i am due in only two short months. soon our baby will be with us. it's starting to really be real. He moves alot now and because He is getting bigger and doesn't have tons of room to move, when he does move i can see it. My belly changes shape or just moves when he's dancing around in there. it's fun.
and this next weekend jamie and craig are getting married. it doesn't seem like that long ago they got engaged....(well it does in a way) but i can't believe it's finally here. Emily comes tomorrow and Jamie's mom is staying with us, so it'll seem alot more real when it's all about the wedding next week.
and i feel as if i've been on an emotional roller coaster. i've been trying to figure out if it's all emotions because i'm pregnant or if being pregnant highlights the areas that you are already sensitive about and maybe God could use the opportunity to work through some of this stuff with me and then i just wouldn't have the emotions about them at all?? Does that make sense?? it's weird, i feel as if if there is lots of information on pregnancy and they say it's normal to being emotional and for pregnancy to bring up personal issues again such as body image and past abuse stuff.....they say that in general about all women it's not just christian's saying that..but then of course because i am a christian I wonder if it's God's way of using the time of your life to highlight areas you may need a little more healing in etc....so that you can be a healthier parents, a healthier person in general in your marriage, in your life and with your children. one thing i've realized in all of this, is that i feel guilty for everything. i feel guilty about us struggling financially, like somehow it's my fault. i feel guilty about not eating well for the baby, i feel guilty that i'm not 'doing' enough. guilt guilt guilt. i swim in it. my fingers are pruny from swimming in it and i don't want to be like this anymore. so it comes and goes the emotions of it all....today has been a good day, just tired. but i'm still enjoying the sleep i do get now because i know when the little bambino arrives i will get even less sleep....well those are my thoughts for now..

re-evaluate

re-evaluate. that's what i feel like i'm going to be doing soon. re-evaluating my whole life. and i guess i feel like i've been doing that a bit more lately anyways. there is something about having kids, that causes you to really think about what's important in life....it isn't money,it isn't getting a cool job, it isn't doing meaningless things.... it isn't necessarily the things you do at all........it's who you are. and some of those things you do in life are very important 'things' that come out of who you are....but honestly, look at your life and think about dying.........at the end of your life, what is important?? to be honest, i really didn't want kids right away, i wanted 5 years with me and mike and then kids, i thought that having kids would take away my identity, and sometimes i still get scared because it seems like it consumes you ...that being a mother isn't just one of the 'hats' you wear, it becomes a very big part of who you are...and it is then something you will forever be. you aren't just a 'mother' for a short time, it isn't just a role for a season..i will be a mother for the rest of my life...the little guy inside me will always carry a part of my heart from now on. ....as will every other child i have. but i know God has been working and i'm so excited to be a mother, i'm excited that my life will not just be about me, it will be about caring for someone else, it's a huge responsisiblity to be a parent, i will have the ability to shape his life in a way that no one else can. And i'm excited because i love my family, i love my mom and dad and brother, i love that they are in my life and i miss them. And i'm excited to begin my own family because that is what i treasure the most. I know God has 'more' for me than just being a mother, but being a mother is also a huge part of what He has for me......
so i guess those are some of my thoughts lately.....my musings....