i love my church

well..i just wanted to say that i love my church. me and mike both. we have been going to Kyle and Anna's house every Monday night and it is our church. (obviously it's a house church) I'm not sure if it has a name, but the website is theopenhouse.ca and maybe that's the name of the church the Open House....anyways, it's great,w e eat together and then right now we've been going through luke together and it's so great. It's what we've wanted church to be for a long time..a place where you connect with people and with God...where you all give and take, you don't just sit and listen to one man at the front, you each hear from God and share with each other and hopefully encourage, and challenge each other. We are really enjoying going and enjoying getting to know the people there more and more. so i just thought i'd share. i love my church.

obviously that is not our church. ( just in case you were wondering if Kyle and Anna lived there..they don't)

baby's hearbeat

Well....one of the most exciting things so far in pregnancy...on friday morning we had an appointment with the midwife and me and mike got to hear the baby's heartbeat. It makes it so much more real. I don't think it's really hit me yet that i'm having a baby..that we are having a baby...so friday was so nice to hear the little baby inside me. It's kind of amazing that there is a baby in there......

girls

well, last night was the last Captivating group, even while i was gone the girls have been meeting together and last night was to go over the last two chapters of the book....so even though i missed alot i was able to be here for the end and i'm so glad i was. and the last chapter of the book talks about having an irreplaceable role, that God has something for each of us to do that is irreplaceable and so the question to all of us was....do you know what your role is..and of course, since lately i've been feeling so lost, of course i didn't know what my role was, but amazing God.....He is so good to me. Even though i wasn't doing so well and i didn't say anything Heather started by encouraging in who i am, and others as well, just encouraged the things they see in me and just wanted to remind me in a way of what is already in me, of who God has made me to be. of course i was crying, But i really think God did some healing in me, through their words to me and through their prayers. i just want to thank you all...it meant to so much to me!!! Today i feel alot more hope..

crying

over the last few days i have been crying. sometimes i don't even know why, sometimes i think i know why but i cry so much that i wonder where it's all coming from. i am having a really hard time knowing what our life is going to look like, what we are going to be doing, what even i want to be doing......all these questions...we are having a baby, what does that mean for our lives?? so much going through my head...

random

Well, the house we really wanted is gone. So we have spent the weekend looking at many other houses, none we loved, one we liked. one way too far away..and lots that were horrible. Today i bought my first baby car seat ( thanks to heather who helped me find it and pick it up and knows what she's doing) i got a great deal. I also had a meeting with Mike D. and Stefan and a Christian businessmen about Coffee Shop stuff in Vancouver, so that was very encouraging meeting and i think i'm going to keep moving forward in that whole area...
i'm tired, we are going to church tonight at Kyle and Anna's house church, looking forward to that. i'm bringing fruit salad for dessert cause that's what i want to eat. i don't have much else to say except that if mike doesn't get home soon we will be late for dinner/church. gotta go now.

This is the house we want. it looks small, but it's not that small. it has 5 bedrooms ( 3 upstairs and 2 that are rented out with the suite downstairs) And it has beautiful hardwood floors, a fire place, it's a great location. We both really really like it. But we don't even know if it's still available. So we'll see. Pray that God's will is done please. We just want to keep seeking God about this house thing, but we still feel we are to keep moving forward, but it's so hard when we have NO money. But we're only moving in faith if we can move toward something where it is impossible to do without God right?? Does that make sense....We just really want to know what He is saying, we feel as if we are crazy but we just think we are to move foward. Please let us know if you get anything.

emotional rollercoaster

well......what can i say? i feel as if i'm on an emotional rollercoaster. i'm not sure if being pregnant is the reason why , or if i would be like this anyways..it's nice to blame it on being pregnant though....but i think in reality it is all kinds of things adding up...like the fact that we don't have a place of our own, i feel a little bit like i'm living in a box. it's great to stay here, but it'd be so nice to be able to really unpack and feel at 'home'. which i know i already said this in my last blog. and i guess in other aspects i feel pretty unsure about alot of things at the moment. a bout what we are doing, about what ministry we are going to get involved in. About that kind of stuff.....thinking about having a baby i feel as if i'm tempted to worry about money to buy all these new baby things, worried about where we are going to live, worried about everything. But God keeps speaking pretty clearly about Trusting Him. i feel as if He has been silent lately but in reality the one thing I know He has spoken clearly is to TRUST Him and to have faith, and faith isn't always easy because God wants to go deeper with us and to know that we are trusting Him and believing even when we don't feel like it. My prayer lately has been, 'i believe , help my unbelief' i feel like i know His character is good. i know His heart is to take care of us, and I know He loves my baby even more than me and mike do, and yet i know that somehow i can't believe without His help. Trust, Have Faith, ~Confess the promises God has given. Enter the land and find rest....that is what He has been saying lately. So when the rollercoaster keeps going up and down, in all of it I want to at least cling to Him....He is my rock and my shelter, He is my strong foundation. anyways...i guess that's a bit of me and where i am at.

Where to Begin

We are 'home' for now. Or our temporary home at least. We have arrived back in Vancouver after being gone for over 2 months and it's nice to be home, but it's also a reminder that we don't have a home right now. It's great to be able to stay with 'family' we are staying in Randy and Rita's guest room right now and it's definitely a blessing. I love being with this family, it makes me feel at least for a little while that i have a place to stay where we are welcome and can make ourselves at home. But you know it's not the same as having your own place, and i think just being married i really just want my own place even more. As well as i think because I'm pregnant i'm going to hit that nesting period soon wher ei just ant to make a home. I already feel like that is what i want more than anything right now, just to make a home, to have a place that is ours and to make it home. And it's been interesting because for a long time i have felt that God had promised me a house, but i wasn't sure when, where, what that meant. And again i have that sense that God wants us to believe in faith for a house of our own. It would take a miracle because in Vancouver houses are so expensive, but we feel we are to ask God in faith for a house and see what He does. So if you think of it, just pray for us that God would do what He wants and ask in faith with us that God will provide a house. We want to know that at the end God is going to get all the credit. But it's nice to be back in Vancouver and to see my friends.

Moving! ...Again......

Hello all my dear friends! Well today is our day 'off' and we have been packing and trying to sell the furniture that we have had here in storage for so long in Scotland. our team only has one week left of Outreach and it's all been going well. Tomorrow we are leading a whole Sunday service in Dundee. Should be good. Then this week is full of stuff like going to the prison, youth work, skatepark, we're putting on a mini-concert at the Skatepark...good times good times..
and meanwhile me and mike while doing all of that, will still be trying to sell all our worldly possessions. not really. but mostly. So it's time to really say goodbye to my beautiful ikea bed. it's so great. So just pray that all of our furniture sells quickly and for as much money as we can get so that when we get back to canada we have money to spend on the same furniture again and all of the other stuff you need, like pots and pans and blah blah..all that stuff.
But it's nice to be back in Arbroath, with the coast and the Cliffs and the small town feel. I really like it. so one week left of ministry, one week and hopefully our stuff sells quickly and then me and mike have another nine days to make sure our stuff is sold and packed and to visit our friends Rodney and Eva who just had a baby girl on Valentines day!!! congrats to them..
well that's what's going on in our life right now.....i have to get back to work.

scotland and being pregnant

hello all! well, i haven't updated you on anything and it seems that emailing and using computers isn't as frequent as i thought it would be. So for now i'll do a quick update. Right now we are in Scotland, near Glasgow and will soon be moving to Dundee, ( on the east coast) . We only have about 2 1/2 weeks left with our team.
Traveling in Morocco was good for the team. We got to see some of Morocco and do lots of different 'things' you know?? Personally it wasn't that great being in my frist trimester in morocco, food wasn't something i could just pick what i wanted or go to the grocery store and get what tasted good, so threw up more and more towards the end of the trip. Traveling made me feel even worse and i think next time i find out i'm pregnant i'll stay closer to home...or just stay home. But now that we are in Scotland , it's much better, Ginger ale is available most places and i can drive to the store to get any food i want. so that's better. Our team is doing great. They are getting to go into schools, youth groups, work with a youth doing Evangelism, open airs, soon we will be going into prisons..all kinds of cool opportunities that God has given us.
And so i think we are all enjoying it. i feel quite emotional sometimes which isn't very fun for anyone, but today me and mike are enjoying a much needed day off, and we really don't have any responsibilities at all today, it's great! So, we have no plans, maybe a movie, but nothing definite.
I turned 26 last weekened. and it's weird to think that by the time i'm 27 i will have a baby. Well, that's about all for now...i'm really looking forward to getting back to vancouver, having a bit of normalacy in my life, finding a place to live, having some more friends around, i want to start swimming, you know...just have a life really. so that's it for now.........

I'm back and I'm in Spain

Hello Everyone!! It has been way too long since i have been able to blog. I hope people still actually read my blog. Just wanted you to know that I'm around. We have been in Spain for two nights and then we head to Scotland tomorrow. I am so excited to be going to scotland. This won't be long, but when I get to Scotland I'll fill you in on what the past month has been like. And maybe some pictures of our trip so far. goodnight for now. ( we are near Malaga ...if you want to know, check out the map)

We leave again on new year's day

Well, it's new year's eve and i am so tired i'm not sure i'll make it to midnight. We have been so busy these past few days that all i want to do right now is cry. i am so tired, my body is aching and i'm not looking forward to flying tomorrow. our flights will take us about 18 hrs to get there, we will arrive into Casa...anyways, please please pray for me to feel well while traveling, that being pregnant doesn't take all the energy out of me, and pray too that i just take care of myself and of the baby. That i have wisdom in my decisions and all of that. I know God will take care of us, he always has. I don't think i'll be able to blog for the next month, but hopefully after that i can update everyone from scotland. i'm going to bed now. Happy new year. This year will definitely hold lots of 'new' things,....and for our family a new baby. That is definitely something to be grateful for. We are very blessed. And our parents have been so supportive and happy for us in all oft his. It's been great so far (except being sick) anyways..love you all and i will miss you...goodbye for now.

positive is for Pregnant

Well, we are going to have a baby! Me and mike just found out that I'm pregnant! The baby is Due August 2006. So , we've been even busier these last few days, today went to see a midwife and a travel clinic about being pregnant in morocco. It's all quite exciting, it's definitely a surprise but a very good one! We are very excited to be parents, although it is a bit scary. Anyways, that's is our good news we want to share with all of you!! i know it's kind of a shock...it's still weird to say, we're having a baby..but we are!!!

in Vancouver for 3 days

hey we're back in Vancouver. We arrived very late Tuesday night and we have about three more days before we head off on outreach. Our Vaccation was awesome, beautiful beaches, clear water, tropical fish to swim with, we didn't have to pay for a thing......i'll post pitures when we put then on the computer. It was beautiful!
And now we're here and we trying to pack up all of our things to move out before we leave, pack for outreach, we have to go get a few things, have some appointments and stuff...so we're a bit busy over these three days, while still trying to get some rest before we jump into outreach in Morocco. That's all for now just wanted to let you know we're home and that we had a great time. Although i really did miss my parents on Christmas. Thre is always something about family, you know, but i talked to them all yesterday and it was fun. Well i Love you all! i'll keep you updated these next few days...

We're off!!!

Well, here we go. Tomorrow we leave for the Turks and Caicos Islands ( next to the Bahamas) nice huh?? For those of you who don't know or don't remember we are going to be spending Christmas with Mike's dad and his wife Jo on the islands of Turks and Caicos..and we are looking forward to it! We are looking forward to relaxing, we have about 10 books between the two of us, we are going to get a tan, we are going to relax as much as possible. And be warm in the sun, it's going to be beautiful! Don't know if i'll have time or be able to Blog or if i'll even care..:) So, i'l update you when we get back, show you some pictures of us on those lovely beaches!! But I will miss my family on Christmas day, even though i was home and had Christmas with them, it of course isn't 'exactly' the same and i will miss you mom and dad and andy! Mom, think of me and know that i had such a great time with you last week. You really are one of my best friends! i love you!
And merry Christmas to everyone, especially those i won't see for so long....and I'll be back in Vancouver on Dec 27th so for those that are around, i would like to SEE You before we leave for outreach on january 1st. Merry Christmas!!!

all kinds of craziness

Well......just to give an update since i haen't been on here in awhile. We flew back from Wisconsin on sunday night and arrived back to vancouver to our very cold apartment and slept really well..:) Then monday we have had Outreach meetings and Monday Night we had our captivating Christmas party!! And it was soo fun, i've been looking forward to that party for so long and it was so nice to be with my friends again, to laugh to eat yummy food and enjoy ourselves. i felt really like we were just celebrating ...and it was amazing. We shared with each other about where we are at and we ate some more! Definitely worth all the excitement..:)
And now it's tuesday and we have even more meetings....soo many meetings all about outreach, trying to be with our team some and get to know them, and meetings like crazy..for today and tomorrow...and then we leave. i'm teeling ya it's busy but after all this it's going to feel even better to go to that island somewhere and RELAX........so yeah, that' s me and what we've been up to....the pic is me and mike at home in wisconsin playing with our camera....

blessings all around

hello! well, it's funny, Since being home i don't have that much to say, days go by quickly and the nights are spent being lazy by the tv, or the fireplace, and of course eating lovely home-made meals with my mom..it's been very nice. Tonight we rented two movies, a guy movie for mike and a girly movie for me and my mom, we're going to pretend it's our Christmas Eve and have appetizers like we usually do, then watch movies and eat yummy desserts. i'm going to wrap presents tonight and just relax. my dad gets home tomorrow so we'll have dinner tomorrow and give each other our gifts. good times. Last night we went to a home fellowship with a couple from my church Karen and Stuart Johnson and it was so great, we were encouraged so much by people who are much older than us, all in their 40's 50's and 60's. So, that was really amazing. To be part of a group that wants to hear your opinion on things as well and wants to know what you think of things...it's been definitely the right time to be home. We have been very blessed. i' thought i'd give you some more pic's of us....

pieces of home

well this won't be long...it's still been so good being home. yesterday i was spoiled, my mom took me shopping and for dinner..we really did shop for hours and hours..and then came home and crashed. anyways i'ts been great! todays' agenda is to do nothing then go to a church fellowship tonight at our friends house...so i'm looking forward to that! but i just thought since i'm home i'd just show you some pictures of me and mike when we were little.......just for fun.
that's me and my mom and mike and his sister lisa....

beautyqueen - masterpiece

well....being home has been good so far. today we slept in and that's the first in a long time...soo great!!! woke up, went to the fireplace and grabbed a cup of coffee...
yesterday was great, me and mike were able to share at my church what we've been up to lately and about our outreach we're going on soon. Also, in the evening there was a women's christmas tea. It was called a Christmas of Blessings, and it was. There was so much lovely food, desserts, coffee, apple cider, the church was decorated so beautifully....and i enjoyed being with my church family again as well. But at the end they had asked if i would sing a song...so yesterday i was trying to think of which song to sing, and one came to mind that wasn't christmas-ey but it was fitting for women i think. in our captivating group in vancouver we have talked about how women are mean to be peaceful, full of quiet strength that exudes from them, not in controlling busyness, and so this song that i wrote for a friend awhile ago seemed fitting...so i sang it and i'm always amazed because music really does stir something in us and it wasn't me, it was God, He moved through the song and touched people's hearts, one lady came up to me because she said she was 'undone' she was crying through the whole song...and so praise God!! He uses music and so i just wanted so share the words of this song with all of you.....(and its one of my only songs i've recorded on my own because it was for my Lovely friend Franziska she was in Norway and there was a recording studio, so i recorded it for her) She is lovely and i miss her dearly!!!!!
if you read this at all Franziska, know you are still dear to my heart and this song is still for you! The picture is me and her in norway.

Swirling, the chaos growing
But i'm standing still
I can see life moving at me,
But will it pass me by
Colors dancing around my being
But i feel as if i'm gray
All i really long for now
Is to truly live

All i want is to see
That beauty really lies in me
And the world with all it's colors
Is where I want to live

All i want is to see
That beauty really lies in me
And the world with all it's colors
Is where I want to live

The paintings, the music, the laughter
I want to soak them in
To live and breathe each day as if it is my last
I want to look back on life
and know that it was more
To know that my Life was part
of a Masterpiece

All i want is to see
That beauty really lies in me
And the world with all it's colors
Is where I want to live

You are a masterpiece
more beautiful than you know

Home in Wisconsin

well.....after a very long day of traveling yesterday we made it!! And on the way, we got to see some friends....yesterday we left vancouver early in the morning, arrived at our friend Kelsey's at 10am....had coffee with her, then off to the airport, where we got on our 3 hr flight into mineapolis, and then our friend Bridget picked us up and we went for dinner with her and my brother Andy.....and then made the 3 1/2 hr drive home!! So it was a long day, but at least we got to spend some time with people we love and haven't seen in awhile.
And now we are home...and it's sooo great to be home!! There is a christmas tree all decorated and the house is so cozy with the fireplace.....and woke up this morning to my dad making us a yummy greasy breakfast. Spent the day relaxing, took a trip to Wal-mart and tonight we are going to have dinner together and then play games or something. It definetely feels like Christmas, and it is soooo cold outside, so it's definitely Wisconsin. I love being home with my family.......and i love christmas in wisconsin.